Alaska's Finest

He was a story version of a person with a broken heart...

 

★★★★★   

 

"Jamie," the divorced looking man, quite evident by his pale blue button-down shirt, introduced himself. He stuck out his hand, knocking over a few beer bottles, with a wide grin spread on his face. "Jamie Lizzard. I'm Alaska's most famous comedian."

 

The writer replied, "Ron," as he shook Jamie's hand.

 

"What brings you to The Swamp?" the comedian asked. He mouthed to the bartender for a glass of whiskey on the rocks. Ron stirred around what was left of his Pink Rabbit, contemplating whether he should get another. He took a bite of the strawberry, sliced halfway on the rim of his coupe glass.

 

Party at the End of the World

United States Blues

 

★★★★★  

 

"I'm Uncle Sam," Ron joked to Mike and Laura. He wore a red and white blazer, along with blue suede shoes. "How do you do?"

 

There they were, having cocktails and wine, at a special version of the Congressional Ball, just around a month from the Fourth of July. Laura's silver sequin dress shimmered as the spotlights skimmed over the crowd. She matched with Mike, who wore a metallic gray blue suit, topped with a Stanzo fedora. Tin Man and Tin Woman.

 

Good Morning, U.S.A.!

Taking a dip into the Swamp...

 

★★★★★ 

 

"The President is looking forward to meeting you," an aide, flanked by two Marine Sentries, greeted Ron. 

 

She said it in a rather gloomy tone, since the prospects of nuclear winter seemed to be on the horizon. The writer stood next to Barb and Dr. House, shadowed by the White House against the golden glow of the rising Sun. Patriotic pillar buntings swayed and flapped in the wind, unironically nailed to the white pillars.

 

Life on the Flip Side

Ice cream not available.

 

A thunderous crack marked the arrival of the Mothership, emerging from the white, fluffy clouds above Las Vegas. The ship, metal panels flaming from reentry, banked right above the city, engulfing it in a large shadow. Two tri-finned steel disk-shaped fighter crafts deployed from the Mothership's hangar with a screeching roar, and dove toward the evacuation routes.

 

"Ron, before you go," Jimmy started, but was briefly interrupted. Three A-10 Warthogs, sent to intercept the Zetan attackers, flew down the Strip. Amidst the chaos, he continued, "Send my regards to the President."