One if by Clam, Two if by Sea

4/23/26 - Thursday Night

 

Hey all, writing to you from the sun-drenched Ocean Mist Hotel in Yarmouth. It reminds me of the Oceanview Hotel (and Motel) from Alan Wake and Control. Partly because of the dual lamps right next to me...

 

Wish It, Want It, Do It

Ron, along with Meg, Peter, and Brian, piled into the Griffins' red station wagon. It was coated heavily with liquor and gasoline after the prior night's drunken attempt to set the world on fire. Weeds, both garden and the excitable types, as well as tulips, were found deep set into the rubber windshield wiper hatches, strewn about alongside clumps of dirt.

 

"Meg," Peter said. His eyes darted from his daughter to Cleveland's house, and then back to her. "You need to take a sharp right."

 

"Dad, I'm an adult now," she replied. "You don't need to worry about my driving anymore."

 

Gutfeld! 4/21/26

Gutfeld and Loftus' southern impressions...

 

 

What I Learned on Spooner Street

Special Edition: 4/20/26

 

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Ron, trailed closely by Laura, knocked on the Griffins' red front door. He brought a burnt pan of meatloaf, drizzled with a cheap instant gravy mix from the local Mini-Mart. As Brian Steele opened the door, Laura's periwinkle floral blouse fluttered in the soft, warm breeze alongside her blonde hair.

 

"Hello my baby," Brian said upon seeing Laura, before adding: "Hello, Ron," as he welcomed them in.

 

Naked Unicorn 35

The Airport Bar Password...

 

★★★★★    

 

"Hey, Ron," Jamie said, leaning out of his driver side window. Ron turned around with a hopeful smile on his face. The comedian continued, "You won't know how lucky you are until you lose her," and rolled up his window. 

 

He circled around the lit-up fountain, tacked right in the center of a tiny oval field, and drove down Pennsylvania Avenue. The red taillights reflected off of the windows of the various storefronts lining the road, laying dark and deserted. A handful of spotlights beamed on the Capitol Building's dome, casting a mirror image of it onto the dark clouds.