"I remember being on the road, doing live shows with Tom Shillue, and he was interested in checking out the city we happened to be in, by foot. It was rainy and grimy and I had mentioned that I didn't want the hassle. He reframed my anxiety by turning it into curiosity. 'Don't you want to see what's out there? Greg, life is an adventure!' He said this with his eyes almost popping out of his head. He was right. Then we got mugged." -Greg Gutfeld (page 161)
For me, Joe, a good friend of mine, pulled me out of the slow lane, the lane where you live a "clean, boring life." And that's how I got in an odd place, putting my writing hand in a sugary, liquid-filled blue Jolly Rancher bag. He said something along the lines of "You could win a free prize" to entice me.
What was the liquid? Water? Urine, probably.
The bottom of the bag was covered with squishy, sticky, melted candy bits. I hit one, and then tried to maneuver around them like a minesweeper during World War 2. Or like Indiana Jones, dodging the squishy, blown up Aztec temples, also due to World War 2.
And that's also how I was pushed off a cliff, by Joe. Turned out he was a crazed German spy whose real name was Lars Einhoff, and was searching for the Ark of the Covenant. He made it pretty far, bushwhacking his way through the Amazon jungle, while I stood triumphantly on the cliff, holding the shiny golden box thing in one hand and a bunch of chips in the other.
